textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
