totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
