Can i not drive my cunt home
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My vagina is very pro this idea
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
