dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize