All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
