she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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