I didn't shave. On purpose
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
