He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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