you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
