if you like me you must not know who I am
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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