I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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