Do vagina's smell?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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