Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
