I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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