i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
