Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
this hospital has no fireball
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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