So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize