How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize