If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
They have beer where we have blood.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
