is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just pee around me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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