I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My bed smells like the plague
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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