Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
