My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
