Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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