i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
