Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
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