dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Randomize
