it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
