I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
