Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
