Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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