I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
