honey bunches of taint.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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