Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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