note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
