You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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