I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
