I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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