so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
