He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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