This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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