no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
