clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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