Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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