the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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