Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
