I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
