We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
