I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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