I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
