why didn't you poke me back
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
