btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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