if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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