I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
