go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
