Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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