I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
a search helicopter?!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Drunk is not a location!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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