i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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