I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize