did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
